This is my Story

Yes, you are reading my .com correctly. pornkillsrelationships.

This is my story dealing with a porn addicted man for 10 years.

Every man and or woman has dealt with some sort of betrayal trauma.

Do you know what is Betrayal Trauma??????

Betrayal trauma is the emotional response to a violation of trust or well-being by someone or something important in a person’s life. It can cause a range of negative emotions, including anxiety, fear, depression, and self-doubt. 

Does this definition resonate you? How does it make you feel? What was the first thought that came into your mind?

When I first read the definition of betrayal trauma, I had so many thoughts run through my mind, I thought I went crazy. Did this ever happen to you? Boy, let me tell you, it’s the worse feeling ever. Then before I knew it, I was deep diving into research.

Violation of trust is a huge heartbreaker. You lose your confidence, and certainty of life. The assurance that your partner is supposed to be your safe haven, is now shattered.

BEHAVIOR ADDICTION

Behavioral addictions are a set of behaviors that a person becomes dependent on and craves.

Porn addiction is a behavioral addiction that is characterized by an obsessive compulsion to view pornographic material. The brain of people watching porn do not function in the same ways as the brains of drug users. Many experts say that the brain of people watching porn do not function in the same way as the brain of drug users and porn addiction is a REAL addiction all the same. People who have porn addiction behaviors are obsessed with sexual thoughts. These thoughts become controlling and will take over and ruin an relationship.

SIGNS OF PORN ADDICTION

Porn addiction include watching porn at inappropriate time such as during work, school, and even while driving. This addiction has one loosing interest in sex with a REAL-LIFE partner.

1: Spending large amounts of time watching porn

2: Being unable to stop using porn

3: Craving to view porn

4: Becoming angry, even hostile when asked about viewing porn

5: Requiring increased amounts or more explicit porn to gain the same satisfaction

6: Losing interest in intimacy with your partner

7: Keeping all of one’s porn use secret from loved ones

EFFECTS OF PORN ADDICTION

The damage that porn addiction can do to a couples relationship can be HUGE. You see many individuals suffering from porn addiction feel embarrassed by their constant use and they often lie to their partner about watching it. Also people addicted to porn will have low sex drive because of them excessively masturbate to whatever fetish they want and for however long they want.

The Beginning

I am going to just start writing, I will be all over the place as this is my story which I will lose, captivate, shake your head and many other emotions.

I started dating this man in 2015. How it all started, I invited him to my birthday gathering and was surprised that he showed up. We had great conversation and truly enjoyed each others company. It was a breath of fresh air. Our first year was wonderful. We loved spending every weekend together. Getting to know each other family. Our sex life was to die for, he knew how to satisfy a woman because he had one trick to last long. When we would have sex, he would go for hours and he told right in the beginning that is doesn’t cum and don’t take offense to it, as it was not me. I was great, that’s awesome as I hate clean up. Well found out he could go for hours because he would jack off nightly. He told me he would self pleasure because it helped him sleep. Okay, now that we know that jacking off is important to him and this is where my life started to change and didn’t even know it.

SIDENOTE: I do need to let you know that I have an superpower. My superpower is I have a nose that can sniff out everything. I also have super sonic hearing

He moved in with me Sept 2016 and it was wonderful to have the man I love move in with me and having a partner to help me daily, chat about life and open our relationship to many different avenues. I loved this man, I loved the place where we were at however I found out that this man could NOT break his lust for porn. He continued view pornographic materials , nudes of all kinds of woman from Facebook groups, movies, tv shows, you name it, he would find some type of porn to look up to make his mind happy. I couldn’t be too upset with him as he was giving me some amazing sex. This man knew how to satisfy me which means he knew how to satisfy all woman he has been with.

This is where we visit his past relationships. Everyone has a type, some will date ones they are not attracted to, just to have sex, you know a one night stand, some will only date and fuck their type. My guy type is a 5’2-5’6 size D to GG breasts, with a nice plump ass. We loves full figured woman{160-180lbs}. He has dated only full figured woman until he met me in 2015. So for 25 years he has dated the love of his types. Why would he want to date me? I am a 5’9, 120lbs, with extremely small B breasts. Yep that’s me, a tall extremely skinny woman. At first, you know the 1st 2 years, this info did not bother me, yep I said that but here comes 2018,

I am going back up to 2017, I work for Walmart and I LOVE my job. I started working for Walmart 11/2011 and I started part-time in the photo center, then moved to electronics. Within 3 months, I was promoted to Dept Mgr of Homelines. I spent 3 years over my dept, then was promote to the Garden & Seasonal. OMG, I couldn’t believe how much I loved this dept. So much change all the time. Just like with all my endeavors, I mastered them and needed a new challenge. The next step in my career would be becoming an assistant. This position is a position that will suck all your extra time as well one, you are required to work a minimum of 50hrs a week. When this opportunity come up, I discussed this in depth with my bf for well at least 8-9 months. He said that he would not have a problem with the promotion and supported me all the way.

2018

March 16, 2018, was the day I was promoted and I was so happy. I was ready for a new challenge and this part of my life was great for appx a year. Then my world fell apart and I didn’t even know it yet. My bf decided that I was not giving him any attention and he decided to reach out to other woman besides the ones on his screen. First, I am going to chat with you about the woman he sought out.

2019

July 26, 2019, he reached out to one of his one night stands, her name is Andrea, he told her that he thinks of the sex they had all the time and would love to do so again. She said she hears that often. He tried his hardest to get her to hook up with him again. Lots of sexting, asking for nudes.

December 16, 2019, this is where he found the app hangouts and started taking to Kelsi however this one back fired on him. This relationship lasted almost 3 weeks. This girl was asking him to buy her stuff etc and when he wasn’t getting the nudes he was asking for, he finally caught on.

2020

Then 2020 came in and my bf decided he needed attention once again. He started a relationship with a woman named Kim and was with her for a couple months and fell in love with this woman while I sat and slept next to him every day. He even broke up with me so he can move to Ohio to be with her and her kids.